Sunday, 24 February 2013


Okay, Mr Oscar Pistorius, let me get this straight-you were aware that Reeva Steenkamp was staying at your house that night, right? And from the look of things, you both slept on the same bed. 

So, a strange sound wakes you up deep into the night, and what would a ‘vulnerable’ person do in that scenario? If Reeva was indeed sleeping next to you, you’d tap her gently, she wakes and you ask her-"Did you hear that sound? It’s coming from the bathroom." And Reeva would have said, "Oh my God, it could be a burglar, call the police" or "Bring your gun, let’s go check it out." But no, that didn't happen Mr Oscar, you didn’t first check to know where your girlfriend was. You simply picked up your gun and headed straight to where the ‘strange noise’ was coming from-your bathroom.

I don't know the level of sophistication or stupidity of South African burglars and intruders, but in Nigeria, burglars or intruders don’t enter your house just to use the bathroom, like seriously?

I understand Mr Oscar that you live in one of those highbrow neighborhoods in Pretoria-South Africa, a fortified housing estate with armed private security guards and all-a burglar/intruder beats all this and heads straight to your bathroom? By the way, what was the ‘strange noise’ that got your attention? Was it the sound of footsteps, or the loud farts emanating from your bathroom as the ‘intruder’ did his/her thing?

For argument sake  let’s agree that you truly thought she was a burglar/intruder hiding in your bathroom. So Oscar, you come out with your gun pointed towards the bathroom door, you still don’t know where Reeva is. You were not worried if this ‘intruder’ had raped or murdered your girlfriend or if she was being held hostage right there in the bathroom.

A normal gun owner in that situation would probably have asked, "Who's there? Reeva, is that you?" but NO...our ‘blade runner’ closed his eyes and opened fire, three or four times hitting his target spot on. I also want to believe that as soon as the first shot was fired Oscar, you could have heard a female voice scream from inside the bathroom, but unfortunately, our ‘blade runner’ is apparently deaf too. Three bullets hit Reeva and she dies eventually.

Dear Oscar Pistorius, you are very lucky that you are from South Africa, a nation with a police force that can murder about 30 poor miners on live TV but still defend itself and charge the survivors for murder.

The Nigerian police probably have worse records but believe me, if you had committed this type of crime in Naija and gave us this 'I thought she was an intruder' story???? ***I laff in Naija accent***** by the time our Police men shove one of your prosthetic legs up your Ass, you will not realize when you start spilling out the whole truth on what actually transpired that night.

For now, you have been granted bail until June, you now have more time to improve on your story. The South African police also now have more time to further scuttle this murder case and probably look for an ex-Police officer on death-row to come lead this investigation. 

It does look like several ‘powerful’ elements in South Africa (and the sports branding world) want you to become a free man. You are one of those international-inspirational icons that make the ‘rainbow’ nation look good. Mandela is already too old and expiring. Another thing you've got on your side is that you are not a fire-brand critic of President Jacob Zuma or the ANC and so they may let you off the hook.

Trust me, if Julius Malema's wife or girlfriend was mysteriously shot and killed in a town 100 kilometres away from Julius' house, he (Julius) would still be arrested and charged for her murder...they'll probably find him guilty.

-STANLEY NWABIA (struggling blogger)  :)


  1. Mr stanly,dis is hilarious. cant stop laughing

  2. the African judicial process is already a big mess. Corruption everywhere.

  3. this is one of d funniest but thot provoking pieces i've read of late. Kudos Mr stan,i'm ur newest fan

  4. The nigerian poilice can make u confess to any crime whether u r guilty or not

  5. LOL @ the nija police shoving his prosthetic leg up his behind. Thats wicked man,wicked

  6. Nice one, Stanley

  7. This is mad funny....oh my god. loooooool


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