Saturday, 13 August 2016

Relax And Enjoy Buhari

A man gets sick and tired of his meek wife; everything she does irritates him, so he chases her away and marries a new wife. His new wife is an older woman, coming into his life with illusions of experience, vows of fidelity and promises of marital bliss. Many months into this new marriage, the man discovers that his new wife was a catastrophic choice. Her mannerisms are crude, her hair, breasts and buttocks was padded all along, she can neither cook nor pray for one hour. Sex with her is like a physical encounter with an Egyptian Mummy. Our dear husband now depressed goes to town with his frustrations, but strangely his lamentation borders on blaming his previous wife’s bad behavior and how it pushed him into marrying a Scarecrow.

President Muhammadu Buhari
This currently is the pitiful situation of many Nigerians that keyed into Messianic possibilities promised by a Buhari presidency in 2015. Today, Nigeria has become worse off; Africa’s topmost economy has crashed, standard of living has thoroughly depreciated. In as much as several disciples of ‘Change’ are gradually coming back to their senses, some with heartfelt apologies; insisting that former President Goodluck Jonathan is somewhat responsible for Nigeria’s devastating new reality under President Buhari remains a recurring anthem on their perturbed lips. Some of us have engaged these characters online and offline trying to make them see reason as to why Buhari is solely responsible for Nigeria’s current woes, yet to no avail. To these delusional lots, chanting “President Goodluck Jonathan was not an option” has become a soothing and therapeutic experience, any attempt to challenge their line of thought on platforms such as Twitter will earn you a cowardly Block.

I have decided to let them be, and in fact show them love and understanding. Sometimes, the only way to cure a mental patient is to enter into his or her world and see things from their own perspective, no matter how skewed. Nigeria’s economic misfortune affects all of us Wailing Wailers, Hating haters, Lying liars and ‘Fencists for Hire.’ President Buhari’s self inflicted failures are so ridiculously surreal such that only equally bizarre excuses can help his core supporters find closure. They have my sincere sympathy.

Unless President Buhari plans to make a sweeping change in his cabinet, there is no light at the end of this tunnel. This current APC government led by President Buhari has institutionalized Nepotism where fixing of square pegs in round holes has become a norm. An arrogant Lawyer heads highly technical Power sector, an aging subsistence farmer and failed Politician is in charge of Agriculture; a kleptomaniac Ex-Governor oversees Transport ministry; a glorified Town Union Treasurer is Finance minister and a schizophrenic leads Nigeria’s sports ministry. Meanwhile, President Buhari’s legendary Anti-corruption war has turned out to be a noise-making, witching hunting exercise capable of showing compassion ONLY to Broom wielding criminals. In spite of this convenient anomaly, we are yet to get a fair trial and conviction of Buhari-approved suspects and Umbrella wielding rogues.

The good or bad news is that with Buhari’s presidency, things can still get a lot worse, hence we had better appreciate what is currently on ground and roll with it.

Some of us are coming to the conclusion that there’s no point engaging President Buhari or his supporters (genuine and deranged). “I told you so” only motivates misguided ‘Buharists’ into transferring their frustration and aggression to previous administrations, specifically Goodluck Jonathan.

The best bet right now is for the politically inclined amongst us to concentrate on participating in ongoing political realignments. The alternative People’s Democratic Party (PDP) may once again find its footing and redirect Nigeria’s course. If this fails to happen, we can look up to other Political parties that show decent potentials. If that too doesn’t happen, we relax and enjoy Buhari and his APC until whenever. With some luck, the ‘Nigerian Big Bang Theory’ might just come to our rescue, where everything blows up in our faces and survivors are forced to click on the reset button. A reset button that ignites the push for a restructured Nigeria where regional autonomy and fiscal federalism becomes our new reality.

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